Grow a Girlfriend™ – Because Love Shouldn’t Be So High Maintenance

💦 Grow a Girlfriend™ – Because Love Shouldn’t Be So High Maintenance 💦 Just add water. Emotional availability not included.

Swipe left on heartbreak and right into hilarity with this cheeky little miracle of modern romance. The Grow a Girlfriend™ is your low-commitment, high-expansion solution to singlehood. Simply plop her in water and watch your new plastic paramour blossom to 6x her original size—no ghosting, no awkward small talk, and absolutely zero need to meet her parents.

✨ Features include:

• Grows bigger than your last emotional breakdown

• No texting back required

• Fits in your pocket and your unrealistic expectations

• Perfect gag gift for bachelors, bachelorettes, or anyone who’s ever said “I give up”

Whether you're nursing a breakup, dodging dating apps, or just need a laugh, this pint-sized partner is here to remind you: love may be hard, but novelty toys are easy.

💘 Warning: Not suitable for actual companionship. But she’s great at expanding your sense of humor.